Why do you still refuse to see,
this vast global conspiracy,
that's infiltrating lives and homes?
(A race replaced by servile drones).
Chips are down and stakes are high,
milk-shake minds are sucked bone dry.
If their fiendish schemes should fail,
they'll smoke us all - but won't inhale!
The evidence was there,
beneath our noses all the time.
We're too gullible to care,
they conceived the perfect crime....
The Great Brain Robbery.
Met my neighbour one fine morning;
spoke of planetary warming.
She looked at me and laughed;
wait and see who's laughing last.
Dread to think how deep they stoop,
dredging for new dopes to dupe.
Plots so blatant yet sublime;
fool all the people all the time.
False prophets ever lie,
of non-existent better days.
Then as judgement hour draws nigh,
they make their hasty getaways....
The Great Brain Robbery.
Leaders of united nations,
speeches preached from TV stations.
Truth or falsehood - no one cares,
All just want to be millionaires.
Armed with charm the slick of wit,
contort each thought - waive every writ.
Devise new means to beat the charge,
disguised 'neath urbane camouflage.
They subjugate free-will,
with intolerance and strife.
Won't be content until,
They own your money and your life....
The Great Brain Robbery.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Skyclad - The Great Brain Robbery
I'm a Gamer... and damn PROUD of it!
Hoy hablando con Adri, me comentó que browseando por flogs encontró una lista sobre "señales de que uno juega demasiado rol" o algo similar, cosa que me recordaba mucho a la vieja y querida lista de "You might be a gamer if..."
Busqué la listita en mi disco rígido, y entre muchas pilas de polvo y telarañas virtuales, ahí estaba. Eliminé las referencias a T$R, que nunca me gustó, y actualicé otras referencias medio anticuadas y... voilà! Una lista actualizada, que describe casi perfectamente a los roleros de vieja escuela. Creo que de lo que verán, no hay nada que no me identifique, ahora o en otro período de mi vida... Keep it old school! (pero sin T$R, que siempre apestó). Bueno, no creo que uno pueda jugar demasiado rol, sino tal vez demasiado poco rol :P
Acá va la lista:
YOU MIGHT BE A GAMER IF...
...losing your dice bag would be a serious financial blow.
...you could paper you bathroom in character sheets.
...you could paper your bathroom in different versions of just ONE character.
...you are unable to walk past the latest White Wolf supplement without leafing through it, even though you know it's going to be bad.
...you have more entertaining "No-shit,-there-I-was-in-a-game" stories than you do anecdotes about your family.
...you talk about your characters as if they are real people.
...you alternate between referring to your characters in the first and the third person.
... and none of your friends gets confused.
...you've ever spent a significant fraction of your life modifying game rules that you didn't like... and, as soon as the system worked to your satisfaction, discarded it.
...you've ever seen the old AD&D tv series.
...you're still reading this list.
...you hang out with people you actively dislike because they give good role-play.
...you've ever gotten into a screaming match over something that happened in a game... (You are so dead! I am not dead!)
...you've ever neglected to buy the new edition of your favourite game because you already have three. (Cthulhu anyone?)
...you have more than one photocopied bootleg of a gaming text.
...you keep old characters around just in case someone might run that system again.
...you consider Altoids, Salt-&-Vinegar chips, and blue Teeni Hugs a balanced diet. (or even an acceptable combination.)
...you own your own weight in gaming books.
...the owners of local hobby stores take your checks without ID because they know where you live.
...you have a random NPC generator, written in BASIC, designed to run on the Trash-80 or the Commodore 64.
...you've ever designed your own character sheets.
...you can be more that three NPCs at the same time without generating more than reasonable confusion in your players.
...you've ever tried to explain gaming to a school counselor, parent, or other PW/OC (Person With/Out Clue).
...you've suceeded.
...you have friends or acquaintances who regularly refer to you as "Og." (Or something similar. (Viradu, in my case))
...you know a lot of gaming jokes that used to be funny once.
...your friend(s) who does not game feels very left out of all of your conversations.
...you have more gaming books than the local hobby store.
... you have a copy of "Dark Dungeons" kicking around somewhere because a: you thought it was funny b: your parents got concerned that you were living in a fantasy realm.
...you're sort of dissapointed that you haven't reached the level where they start teaching you the real spells (as described in the above "Dark Dungeons" pamphlet) yet: You're sure you must be a high enough level.
...you've been gaming for more than half of your life.
...the phrase "Collect Call of Cthulhu" brings back fond memories.
...you tend to play characters as different from you in race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, and what have you as possible, just to confuse your friends.
...you've thought of four or five additions to this list.
...you and your friends have spent a screening of "Underworld" assigning vampire clans to the various characters.
...a friend of yours screws something up and you respond with, "looks like you failed your _________ roll."
... If you played a different game every night, you'd need a fifty-day week to use your RPG collection to its full extent.
...you're STILL reading this list.
... you can give no fewer than six different speeches on "what is roleplaying?", verbatim, from the introductions to different games.
... you've bought a game even though you didn't like the genre or the rules, so that you could fix the rules and convert them to a different genre.
... there is virtually no game that you can't name the genre, company, or country of origin for.
... your most important criteria for a mate is that they're a gamer, too.
... you've ever written a speech for your character to make just in case he should find himself in such a situation.
... you remember when all games referred to characters as "he".
... your idea of a fun Friday night consists of getting the gang together and playing for eight or more hours.
... the only reason you want a lake cabin is so you and the gang can go up there and play non-stop all weekend without any distractions. (So true!)
... everything you see, hear, or taste translates into some form of stats for a game. ("Wow! That move was cool...that means he's got Swing Sword +20 and Look Cool In Armor +15.")
... you branch out from RPGs into the stuff that game was derived from so you make better sense of the bloody thing. (Gamers-turned-Otaku, Gamers-turned- occultists, Gamers-turned-goths, Gamers-turned-military personel, Gamers-turned-martial-artists, etc.)
... and you *still* don't stop playing!
... you remember when there was none of this "no exclusively (fe)male viewpoint" bullshit.
... or when there was none of this "no cussing" crap either.
... you've written character histories that are longer than most novels...
... you have a nickname that makes no sense because one of your characters had it.
... you've ever constructed yourself as a character.
... you use phrases like 'Save vs. Graduation or go insane for 1d4 days.'
Mmmmm... Altoids... una golosina que nunca podría funcionar en este país, pero es genial! :)
